Today things are not going well. Not on any grand scale of lumps on CT scans or terrorist attacks, just on the very puny scale of lost paperwork and messed up scheduling. And yet, it’s enough to leave me frustrated , swearing, petty and teary as though I’m being elaborately and wrongfully mistreated. What a waste of these precious hours- not the events of the morning, but my response to them. All that groveling and fuming and storming around with my fists clenched as though the world depends on my paperwork.
And now the morning is over, and it was such a beautiful one, so many birds flew by my window that I missed completely, so much silence in my home, earth beneath my feet, breath filling my lungs. I missed it. These are the easy days- the ones where all mostly still feels right in the world and I still have my lungs and mental capacities. Why not save the groveling for the real doozies coming my way, and instead practice all the great truths now while I’m mostly still in hardship Kindergarten. If nothing else, why not notice what’s in front of me- fresh coffee, majestic hornbills, wild red poinsettias. Why not turn off the annoying commentary in my head that manages to ruin just about every gorgeous moment and clear a space for reality. Oh God, forgive my tiresome whining, my constant judging, complaining, categorizing. I’d so much rather be open, clear, standing wide eyed and silent before the world as it really is and leave the judging to some other sucker. This life is too good to miss.

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